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He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, “The weather out there is terrible.”To which she sleepily replies, “Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?”This one is compliments of Mario.The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church in Ireland. One day he was walking down the High Street and he noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub drinking beer.The Reverend wasn’t happy. He walked through the open door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.‘Mrs Fitzgerald, ‘ he said sternly. ‘This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don’t you let me take you home?’‘Sure, ‘ she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back. Thinking it was time to strike, I used one of my wrestling holds to grab her arms and roll myself on top of her. So, here we were, in the missionary position; the only thing between me and her gorgeous lips was my zipper. “Say uncle.”“Make me, bitch.”“…Nah. You’d like it too much.” I released her, and maybe it was me, but she looked a little disappointed. “After all,” I started as I threw her towel back at her and got off of my bed, “I’m sure our ‘guests’ will be here any minute.” As soon as I said that, I heard the doorbell open. Jessie jumped up. “Shit, they’ll go straight to our rooms! I gotta go!” Jessie said as she ran to the door. Before she opened it, she hesitated, ran back to me and gave me the most earth-shattering kiss I’ve ever had. “Remember to be a good boy. See you in a few, baby.” She said as she winked and ran out of my room, being careful not to make a slamming noise. This “date” is going to be very interesting! Jessie got her wetness all over my shorts, so I.
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